Thursday, 11 May 2017

I Gotta Be Me

In some aspects of my life I consider myself to be a bit 'left of centre', and I like that. I like doing or being the unexpected. Why then do I constantly battle to push myself into what I see to be the mould of what being a writer is?

I have a lovely office, lots of desk space, great natural light. A snazzy, comfortable office chair. A place where any dedicated writer would love to spend hours. The place where I should be putting fingers to the keyboards like a real writer. Yet I do very little writing there.

I write. Most days. I work on my stories and non-fiction projects. Social media associated with my author persona. But I feel guilty that I don't do it at my desk. That I'm not 'legit' or treating my writing seriously. I look at how all my writing friends work and think I should be doing it the same.

But I like to be comfortable when I write. I probably need an expensive ergonomic office chair that doesn't make my back hurt after two hours or make some weird nerve in my thighs twinge. But I know that if I did have such a thing t wouldn't inspire me to sit at the desk any more than I do currently. If I knew my partner didn't need to share the desk (it's two person size) ever again, I still wouldn't spend more time there.

I'm a 'lazy' writer. I like to lie back on the sofa, feet up, laptop on my lap (aren't they laptops for that reason?). I like to have the tv on because if it's quiet or there's music, my mind drifts. And all the time I'm thinking 'get off your butt and into that office'.

The time I do spend at the desk doesn't particularly increase my output, or the quality of my work (and I still have a tv on in there). It doesn't change anything, it just makes me think I'm doing the right thing.

Well I've finally decided to stop trying to be like everyone else in this aspect of my life just like I'm not in so many others. Surely as long as I'm writing, it's all good? I'm no less 'professional' in my attitude just because I'm on the sofa, or even in bed. Having the worlds most beautiful, comfortable office wouldn't get any more words out of me. That's gotta come from me, not my surroundings.

Instead of wasting energy wondering why I can't be like I think I should be I'll put it into actually writing. If I want to sit at the desk because I need somewhere to put notes or because I want to enjoy the glorious afternoon sunshine, I will. If my snuggly bed on a chilly morning is more enticing that a cold office which I have to heat up, then so be it.

I'm giving myself permission to write where the hell I want !!

2 comments:

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  2. I agree Andra Ashe. I need to stay in the kitchen/family room at the table or sitting on the couch to write. Sometimes I write in bed in the mornings now that I have retired, as it is so cold, and I don't want to heat the whole house just for me. It is about where you feel comfortable. I keep thinking I need an office, and I have rooms I could turn into an office. But I know I would not spend the time there, I would gravitate to the place that feels like home, where the kettle is near, and the sun comes in through the Kitchen windows.

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